I’ll take the Chivas instead

DISCLAIMER: This is ridiculous.

All I Ever FREAKING Wanted

So hello, everyone who is reading this blog. Several days ago, Kelly Clarkson eleased her fourth studio album All I Ever Wanted, and I am PUMPED AS HELL. Today i came homefor sSpring Break and it was on my bed form Amazon where I preodered like two months ago. IT’S FREAKING RIGHTEOUS I AM LISTENING TO IT RIGHT NOW. I have been listenign many times and I love it. I will even admit that I teared up listening to several tracks, especially ones that could particularly relate to Spashley. LOVEIT.

1. Canada is trying to kill me.

Today I was driving home from college just minding my own business listening to Spice World soundtrack (oh my gosh, so good!) and this big ginormous Buik comes over and almost slams into me! So I’m all “AH!’ and am like honking and crazy and I DRIVE ONTO THE GRASS MEDIAN!! Normal crazy old man? NO. Canadian crazy old man with Ontario plates! LEAVE Britney and me alone, please.

B. I miss Spice Girls.

In first grade, my best friend and I were obsessed with the Spice Girls. My mom made me throw away my poster of them because they looked like trampy tramps. I LOVE TRAMPY TRAMPS! Then my best friend made her Barbies have sex, and I wasn’t down with that. Scarred me for life. Then she moved away. Still scarred for life, but no mroe Barbie sex.

Next. Okay, so Already Gone is playing from Kelly’s new CD.

AND it’s so sad! I KNOW that this song was written about Ashley leaving Spencer. Ugh, depressing. Scary ladies on TV right now because we are going to see Tropic Thunder?! JUNGLE LIGHTNING.

8. Meghan doesn’t BELIEVE

IN the English people. They are real as HELL so you better watch out, NOLA. Britney Spears. I will tell her later. And once in Britain-land, all of the sheep ate all of the grass until no more existed. Then There was just dirt everywhere. INDIANS COULD NOT PLANT CORN. Yo, John Smitth, who you gonna be bangin NOW?!

9. RIHANNA

WTF are you doing, HO?! Our names are similar, so you cannot make us look bad! I can’t believe you took that little punk back except I bet you are being paid to save his pathetic career. How am I supposed to breathe with no air? YOU AIN’T, BITCH.

10. MSG2 is my brother

And he says I have a ‘gay’ voicemail. F that, I don’t even care. He looks like the Joker in real life. CREEP!!

11. tODAY AT 8AM I QUIT LATIN FOREVER

BLAH BLAH BLAH, I love Rocky Horror Picture show, I can’t ever like Caesar and Hannibal and passive participles!

12. Sheep smiley on MSN Live

Best emoticon e’ver of my life. I liek the snail too and the black person giving a hug. The white one is not as enthusiastic, sorry.

13. Kelly Clarkson

Is still singing and I love this CD.

14. OUR PIZZA WAS LATE AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Papa J’s let us down but there is so much pizza I don;t even know how to handle this craziness. Help times!

15. I am unemployed.

I need a job. I think that I could be a really could porno director. I will make storyboards./

OH YEAH BRITNEY has a new video for If U Seek Amy and I love it! I’ts totally Brit Brit hot and then it’s crazy at the end. EVERYONE WATCH THE FINS.

X. KELLY WILL BE ON SNL TOMORROW NIGHT EVERYONE WATCH IT NOW!!

But tomorrow, not now because it is not on.

Y. We tried to watch the Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget and it was the funniest day of my life and then the satellite only on that channel stopped working and now I hate my life.

32. Tyra Banks

She is on TV and I approve but guess what I love Analeigh Tipton more! She is my favorite ANTM contestent of all time and Tyra was all like, “This is how you smile sexy,” *smiles normally* *Analeigh nods* “And this is how you smile non-sexily,” *smiles THE EXACT SAME WAY* *Analeigh looks confused but nods anyway because she is too sweet to be a bitch about Tyra being crazy* *ANALEIGH GETS KICKED OFF>?!* RUINED MY LIFE.

You guys Kelly Clarkson CD still going I don’t even know what to do with my liiiiiiiiiife!

53. TEETH.

I brushed my teeth like before a few minutes ago because I love my toothpaste and I brought it with me in my purse to part =y with my hoz tonight. I am worried that my wisdom teeth are going to come in! NOOES! I need them taken out. LET’S CUT THEM OUT TONIGHT!!

Spring break is crazy already. WTFGTFOOOMFC. Hey I have to watcha ll the award shoes so the bank will come back with my money bags, don’t you know.

54. Once in Ireland

No sheep ate grass INTERRUPTION: KELLY IS SINGING MY NEW FAV SONG INTERRUPTION OVER so the corn grew and my ancestors farmed the land and made potatos and eveyrone was happy and full of carbs, but F Adkins anyway! Bad for your brain.

55. I am afraid of scalp diseases/

Because I had this dream and it was the scariest thing of my LIFE> UGH NO!

56. The guy from Hamlet 2 (GREAT MOVIE) is in JUNGLE LIGHTNING but he just died forever.

57. I am done. This is boring.

 

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